יום שבת, 27 במרץ 2010

Accepting Change

Like many people, I to have a complex relationship with changes. On the one hand I enjoy change, I welcome it with both hands. On the other hand, it takes me some time to get used to changes. Those 'between times'(which I'm sure have a proper term in psychology) are difficult for me.

My mom always tells stories about how I behaved at airports in the time when we were back and forth between the Kibbutz and Pittsburgh. How I used to drive everyone nuts, get horrible tantrums. During the flight I was fine, its the before and after.
She told me this for the first time when I was about 12 " It takes you time to get used to places, you need to come back home form school, have a moment to absorb the surrounding, then you're fine"She is right.
Every time I come to a new place, or an old place but its packed with people, my first tendency is to become very hostile, sarcastic, look down at every one around me. Then I calm down and I'm fine.
Acknowledging this difficulty and accepting it has made me enjoy, and like changes. It has also made me, in may cases, very intolerant to people who don't welcome change.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that solving one challenge raises another one, but more so, as a future Rabbi, and as one that loves her friends, one of the big lessons I have to learn for my self, is to accept people as they are. Help them do better for themselves from where they can. Not from where I think they should- doing that will only be a disaster for us all

Oh, first time I've written here during Shabbat. This Shabbat feels so non shabbat...

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